Cute but Useless.

thedailywhat:

Not Dead Yet of the Day: A nonagenarian from the southern Chinese village of Liulou inadvertently scared the bejesus out of friends and family after she suddenly “reanimated” on the sixth day of her closed-casket wake.

95-year-old Li Xiufeng was reportedly showing no signs of life when she was discovered in her bed by a neighbor some two weeks after suffering a head injury.

Chen Qingwang, who would visit the elderly lady daily to bring her breakfast, said he tried pushing her and calling her name but to no avail. He claims she was not breathing, so he assumed she had passed on.

Neighbors placed Li in a coffin, and spent five days paying their respects, as is the tradition. On the sixth day, the day before the funeral, Chen arrived at the house and found his neighbor’s corpse missing.

Li had apparently returned from the dead, and walked into the kitchen to make herself a snack.

“I slept for a long time,” she later told her neighbors. “After waking up, I felt so hungry, and wanted to cook something to eat. I pushed the lid for a long time to climb out.”

An “artificial death” — in which a person temporarily stops breathing but remains alive — is being blamed for the mix-up.

Though one tradition may have saved her from an untimely demise, another one has sadly left her without a thing to call her own. It seems local custom dictates that, upon a person’s death, all their earthly possessions must be burned.

[quirkies / mirror.]

(Source: thedailywhat)

thedailywhat:

Anthropomorphized Animal of the Day: Disapproving Starfish is tired of your sh*t.

[reddit.]

(Source: thedailywhat)

thedailywhat:

Grammys: “Maximum trolling achieved”: Deadmau5 showed up at the Grammys wearing Skrillex’s personal cellphone number on his T-shirt.

[@deadmau5.]

TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOL

(Source: thedailywhat)

the-wise-mexican:

chuck testa.

(Source: ifyoucandreamityoucanmakeit)

thedailywhat:

Creepy Cocktail of the Day: The Alien Brain Hemorrhage contains 1 part peace schnapps, 1 part Bailey’s Irish cream, and 2 parts grenadine.

Makes the perfect hangover cure: One look at this terrifying concoction and you’ll be as sober as a Sunday school marm.

[neatorama.]

Bartending school barely scratched the surface regarding the ingenious and bizarre properties of alcohol. I really want to try to make this.   

(Source: thedailywhat)

thedailywhat:

Accidental Color Coordination of the Day: That awkward moment when you realize you and your two co-anchors are wearing practically the same thing.

[reddit.]

(Source: thedailywhat)

bottlethestars:

#the obamas are basically just those cool dorky neighbors that live next door to you #only in charge of an entire country

Easily the highlight moment in the SOTU address. They both could also earn new rage faces with this one. 

(Source: jonwithabullet, via terrifyingblog)